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Running… Out of Time

July 18, 2010
by Van

Waking, yet asleep, we look at the clock: body says, “Feed me, wash me, breath me, hurry up I have needs.” If we—the one awakening—chooses to be present, we renew consciousness, deepen it, re-commit to it with each response: the breathing, stretching, washing…

Each waking happens on all levels of who we are. Mind says: “Get up, work to do, look at the clock, we are running out of time, it is almost whatever o’clock…no more sleep wake up!”

What time are ‘we’ out of ? What about our Spirit: is there time…is that ‘in time?’ Could we make all the demands of our self—body, mind, emotions—a spiritual exercise?

If we gave the body enough for long enough, would it be quieter, make fewer demands? Would we become lost in the ‘bliss’ of simple service to every action? If we are not the body— but had need of it for a time—would we care for it well enough? Could we use it as another tool to remain awake in Spirit? Would we realize more of who we are behind the constant demands?

If we heard the announcements, the loud-speaker, the constant agenda maker, our own mind, as entertainment, not always necessity, would we be in the sweet nothingness, the timelessness?

As thoughts arise for this blog I notice space between them; is this space “Out Of Time?” Have I run myself out of the time I think I live in? I sit outside to meditate, hear birds, feel wind, sun rises slowly—a reflection of time passing…the day moves forward.

Am I running out of time to find myself?

As the gulf fills with oil, the polar bear loses its ice, are ‘We’ running out of time?

Or is all perfectly designed for our awakening? Throughout history ‘we’ had ideas ‘this is it—this is in the big trouble.’ how will we survive—through world wars, quakes, floods famine. But again ‘this’ too passes—where did ‘it’ go? Into the history books etched in memory.

The fear passed, we prosper, breathe, wake, wash our face…the little things of life may hold some promise of peace even in the shadow of great drama. These ‘small’ actions can invite us between the moments of time.

It is always the loss of hope when spirits are shaken: “Fear paralyzes the Spirit.” Maybe we are not running out of time but running away from Spirit, chasing the dreams we make, those that were made by others, that hold us through belief and fear.

Meditation over, peace carried within, how long? Will I run out of time to hold it, can I not be there throughout time and beyond it? Mind says: you are aging, body will have more needs: is there time enough to find the self, will you outlive the money you make? More fears tied to time…

The teachings say ‘we are already there, nothing to find, nowhere to go, no time.’ How do we recall that place when time—the illusion—is in our face, when day follows night, year follows year, gray hair showing, bones ache with use. Can we be aware of watching? Can we realize nothing is happening here—that we are already out of time? Can we stop running now?

May we breath between each moment, see the space between, see the large and small events placed before us, all as lessons.

Could we smile more to the worried face in the mirror?

Could we gather all history in a moment of our own choosing bless it and let it go?

Peek over the fence at the future seeing only possibilities from the ever-present moment now? ?

As the life guard says ‘walk, don’t run’. Stop, eyes open. Sowly, out of time constraints, into your own moment, again and again.

If we could we pause the flipping card cartoon book, stop time, slow it down to see just this moment, would it hold still? If so who would be there to see it?

One Comment leave one →
  1. Adele Rosen permalink
    July 20, 2010 3:12 pm

    Van…..you came to me in a dream the other night…..I was trying to fill a bathtub…..the plugs
    were all leaky….the water drained out…..then I saw a good one……..it fit ….you came and sat next to me……I looked at the tub and it was full…..before I turned the water on….I was amazed
    xxxxxxxxxxxAdele

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